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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25921786">Confinement and Confessions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avionyx/pseuds/Avionyx'>Avionyx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>recovery and ever after [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:53:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25921786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avionyx/pseuds/Avionyx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In general, Percy prides himself on his bravery. Despite how much of his bravado comes from a disregard for his own personal safety, it doesn’t discount the brave acts he’s taken in the past. Very few fights or feats frighten him. Confined spaces and bound hands are another story. </p><p>Percy and Vex are apprehended in the City of Brass and forced to have some conversations </p><p>Slight Canon Divergence</p><p>*some mildly sexy content and language in ch2*</p><p>TW: Anna Ripley (discussion of torture and scars)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>recovery and ever after [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In general, Percy prides himself on his bravery. He is willing to stare down enemies with nothing more than his gun, even laughing at the fury in their eyes. Despite how much of his bravado comes from a disregard for his own personal safety, it doesn’t discount the brave acts he’s taken in the past. Very few fights or feats frighten him.</p><p>Confined spaces and bound hands are another story. He knows posing as slaves was the easiest way to keep safe in the City of Brass, but the shackles weighed heavily on his wrists, rubbing up against scars and memories alike. For the past day he’s been fighting against the memories in his head that kept trying to convince him that, despite the fact that he does in fact know better, these shackles are the same as the last. The voice in his head, her voice, is trying to convince him that this was all some grand dream sequence, and he was never pulled out of her shackles. </p><p>Walking around was just enough to keep him from succumbing completely to her voice. That last shred of stability left quickly after getting caught. The party, although he suspects a specific few members in particular, started a bit of a ruckus in the central market and he and Vex were blamed, and subsequently shoved into a small cell until their “master” can pay for the damages caused. They were not treated well, like not much better than cattle truly, and Percy could see the anger brewing behind Vex’s eyes, although she was aware enough to bite her tongue. </p><p>He hates cells, he’s spent enough time in them to be sure of that. The stones of this cell wall are uncomfortably warm against his back and he desperately wishes that they were cold-at least then he would have something to ground him. His hands are shaking, and he desperately searches the pocket of his coat, Pelor he’s sweating buckets, for something to fiddle with but finds nothing in any of the many pockets. The act of searching his pockets keeps his hands busy enough for the moment, and he hopes that Vex won’t notice as the shaking gets worse. </p><p>She’s pacing the small cell, talking into her earring, hoping the others are within range. She keeps using the most colorful terms for the ruckus caused in the marketplace, with some particularly colorful threats made to her brother and Scanlan, in common, elvish, and what he can only assume to be abyssal. If he weren’t trying to maintain that illusion of control he would’ve found it hilarious, and more than a little attractive if he’s being honest with himself. She distracts him from his quickly deteriorating condition for a second as he watches her, cheeks flushed and eyes filled with fire. His momentary peace is brought to an abrupt halt with the sound of heavy footsteps and keys jingling outside the cell door. They don’t even approach their cell, but the sound is enough to send his mind reeling. </p><p>Percy swears he can feel the walls of the cell closing in on him, the corner he was sitting in becoming confined and constricting. The warmth of the stones is overwhelming and his head begins to spin. Every time he blinks it’s a different cell, an all too familiar one with its dank walls and musty odor. Suddenly, he’s gasping for air, and he swears he sees Ripley’s shadowy profile laughing at him from outside of the bars. Her laughter still rings clearly in his head, it’s such a specific sound, especially when she was proud of her work. Gloating over what she had done to him. Breathing becomes difficult, and he struggles to fill his lungs. </p><p>“Percy?” Vex stops pacing. It’s hard to make out whether it's her form or Ripleys that is standing in front of him. He shies away from her gaze nevertheless, wrapping his arms tightly around himself in an impossible attempt to protect himself for what may come.</p><p>“Oh Percival” The voice in his head croons in its deceptively saccharine interpretation of Ripley. His brain is desperately trying to decide which cell he is in. The switching back and forth is beginning to make him slightly seasick and he leans against the wall to his side in a desperate attempt to steady himself. He feel’s Ripley’s presence more than anything else. The power she had over him and the helplessness he felt in her presence never really died down. He’ll never forget the image of her, scalpel in hand, laughing from above him.</p><p>The woman in front of him reaches out a hand on his upper arm. He hates that he whimpers in fear, hates that he can’t figure out if the hand is Ripley’s or Vex’s, hates that he is confusing the two women at all. The touch is soft, but his skin still burns and shudders under it. </p><p>“Percy?” Vex’s voice, full of concern. </p><p>“Percival.” Ripley’s voice, teasing and dangerous. </p><p>“Darling, what’s...are you....what can I do?” Vex’s voice comes floating through the air, much more tense than it usually is. If he didn’t know better he’d say she almost sounded like she was pleading. Vex so rarely pleads. </p><p>“You’re very bright, Percival, just open up and the pain can stop.” The brand under his hip burns and he can feel the knife being drawn across his chest all over again. The cold metal rakes across his chest, and despite the uncomfortably warm temperature goosebumps pop up across his chest and arms.  He whimpers again, biting the inside of his cheek to silence as much of the sound as he can, and the knife slows it cut as it passes over his heart. “You know what I want to know. It’s not like your parents are alive anymore to be upset you’re telling their secrets.” He cries out, and he thinks he sees Vex startle slightly. </p><p>The hand moves from his arm to one his hands, which he can now be sure are violently shaking. Hot tears run down his face, he isn’t sure when they started but he can taste the salt on his lips. “Darling, it’s okay, we’re safe, we’re alright. No one’s going to hurt you, I’m not going to hurt you.” He wants to believe those words, but he’d only made that mistake once. </p><p>He can hear Vex’s voice. He desperately wants to be in that cell, despite its warm temperature. He needs to get out of Ripley’s possession. He can feel her hands, intrusive and disgustingly familiar, running over his body and a chill passes through him, following her phantom fingers as they track possessively over the marks they made on his skin. They’re her’s. Its her handywork, work she was always immensely proud of. His body is hers once again. She has complete control and is using it fully. HIs stomach churns at the memory.</p><p>“You always were a handsome boy, good to see that you’ve become a more handsome man. I like to think I had some part in that” Her hand settles around his throat, its phantom fingers tightening as he gasps for air. </p><p>“Vex…” His voice is soft and it shakes, and he’s struggles to intake a full breath. Ripley’s fingers get increasingly tighter around his throat as they struggle to regain their control. He needs to focus on Vex’s voice, her hand on his, something, anything to ground him before he succumbs to the memories entirely. </p><p>“I’m here, Percy, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere, okay? You’re scaring me a little bit darling, but I’m here. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Pelor, Percy, fuck, alright,  we’re in the City of Brass, Scanlan, or Vax, or someone did something stupid in the marketplace and you and I tried to do something about it and got taken away. Senokir has to come get us, but we’re safe. I-I don’t know what to do, but I’m right here, and I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. Fuck, I won’t let anything happen to you ever again.”</p><p>He focuses everything he can on her words, he doesn’t catch all of them but he can tell she’s still talking from simply the sound of her voice, shakey as it is, drifting through the fog and smoke in his head. Slowly the dank and musty cell begins to fade to the warm and dry one and he can more clearly feel Vex’s hand, trembling slightly, in his own. He wraps his fingers around her as soon as he regains control of his muscles. He opens his eyes and can see Vex in front of him, looking flustered and sweaty, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. </p><p>“Percy?” </p><p>“Hello darling.” His voice is breathy, but he is stable and in the present now. He can feel his heart still pounding away in his chest and attempts to slow his breathing.  The tears run down Vex’s cheeks, and he notices for a second time that he is crying as well. “You wouldn’t happen to have a water skin would you?” The simple sentence takes a while, and a large amount of focus, but he is determined to speak in clear sentences. Vex passes him a half-full skin with shaking hands. </p><p>“Are you…” She tries to discreetly wipe the tears from her eyes, but he quickly notices. Carefully he brings a hand to her cheek and attempts to brush the tears off her cheeks for her. His muscles shake as they move, but nevertheless he is able to wipe a few tears from her cheek before lifting the waterskin to his lips. The water is surprisingly cool, she must’ve kept it in the bag of colding, and helps to steady his nerves. </p><p>“I’m okay. I’m not a fan of shackles or cells I’m afraid. Tend to make me feel powerless. They, ah, bring up some shitty memories.”</p><p>“So you were back...with her I mean.” Suddenly she can’t meet his gaze. Yet, the contempt in Vex’s voice, the amount of hatred that is only reserved for the truly wicked, does not shy. It’s intensity takes him back slightly. Ripley was his demon, his issue, yet the second her bullet pierced his skin she became Vex’s as well. </p><p>“I...yes. It happens sometimes, and the shackles didn’t help.”</p><p>“Did you,” She pauses, pondering her words, “Did you think I was her?” </p><p>He doesn’t know how to answer, doesn’t know how to balance his guilt with the truth. His breathing picks up again, but her grip on his hand is steady. “Yes, but Vex, please, this had nothing to do with you.” Again, she can’t meet his gaze. “You did nothing wrong, and his is not your fault, this is entirely Ripley’s fault, and I don’t blame you in the slightest.” Gently, he cups her face in his hand, doing everything he can to calm the slight tremor that still echos through his fingers. He tilts her face up, so he can look her in the eye. “You must know that I would never associate you with Ripley in any way in my right mind.” She gently removes his hand but keeps her fingers intertwined with his. Her eyes are rimmed with tears that are threatening to break through, and Percy is sure he can feel his heart breaking. Never in his life would he want to upset her, and yet he’d made her cry, he’d admitted that for a moment he associated her, the woman he’s fallen madly in love with, with the woman who tortured him to near death, who killed him. The thought makes his stomach churn. </p><p>“Do they hurt?” Her voice trembles as she fights to maintain control of it. “The flashbacks, I mean, do they hurt you?” </p><p>He wants to lie, he wants nothing more to tell her that the visions cause no pain, but his larger scars are still burning and he can’t lie, not to her. </p><p>“Yes, a bit, but nothing you need to worry about. Nothing serious.” The second the yes leaves his lips her hands begin to glow with green healing energy. The burning sensation quickly fades and it’s only then he realizes how much tension he was holding and how serious the burning in his scars really was. “That’s much better, thank you.” She smiles an almost sad smile. He knows what she’s thinking, he knows she hates it when he hides his pain.</p><p>She says nothing about it, but just moves in next to him and rests her head on his shoulder, their hands still intertwined. Without thinking, he lightly kisses her hair. They’ve always been close. Their positions as ranged sharpshooters always put them close in battle so they always watched each other’s backs. There had always been more than that though, they were both clever, resourceful, tended to hold grudges, and protected their loved ones with their lives. They talked, oh how he adored their talks, but there were plenty of unspoken agreements as well. Truths felt but never spoken. Percy knew, he always knew, that he would do anything for her. Deep down he knew that there could never be anyone else who would captivate his heart and his mind quite as she did. They’d had a confession of sorts. She’d poured her heart out to him out in the snowy woods of Draconia, she’d been more vulnerable than she normally lets herself be. And of course, her more public confession, the one made over his corpse. The one that brought him back to life. </p><p>“Percy?”</p><p>“Hm?” </p><p>“When will ‘later’ be?” His heart jumps to his throat. Her voice is soft, and not that he’d ever say it out loud but, timid as well. This isn’t at all what he had in mind, he wanted somewhere private and quiet, with the finest wines from the Whitestone stores, somewhere they could talk for hours if need be. He wanted to have something prepared that wasn’t just ‘darling not only did I hear what you confessed over my dead body, I happen to feel the same way’. And yet, none of that mattered. She was there, her warm brown eyes pleading with him. Eyes he is sure he will never be able to say no to.</p><p>“I wanted it to be special, with wine, somewhere private, and not in a jail cell.” Gathering his courage, he decides to say fuck it, they’re in a dangerous business and who knows what will happen next. He’s already died once, he doesn’t want to die again without telling her everything. “It’s not every day that you tell someone you love them.” He feels her breathing stop, and her grip on his hand tightens ever so slightly. “I’ll admit, saying it while coming down from a panic attack, in a jail cell in the Elemental Plane of Fire, was not what I envisioned, but nothing about..about falling in love with you is how I could have envisioned it.” She laughs nervously. “I always assumed I would end up in some arranged marriage for the political gain of my family, sent away to forge an alliance with some nobles far away, I’d marry someone and be content enough, I’d become one of those nobles that convinces themself they're happy after enough years. Then all of that was taken away, and I was clouded by revenge, I wanted nothing but to kill those responsible for changing everything. There wasn’t a future, not really, not for me.” He locks eyes with her now, her beautiful brown eyes are starting to rim with tears again. He takes her head in his hands, turning to fully face her. “And then there was you. You threw me off course in the best possible way, made me realize that I deserved more than childish revenge fantasies, and deals with demons. Not that I deserved you, I nor anyone is worthy enough for you, and I’ll never know how I got so lucky as to earn your affection. You are, quite honestly, the most amazing person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.” Vex laughs at this, meekly trying to avoid bursting into tears completely. He gently wipes the budding tears away with his thumb. “There is no greater honor than knowing I have your heart. I only hope that you will accept mine in return.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   </p><p>And then she kisses him. And they’ve kissed before, but this is different, this isn’t the quick kisses he’s grown so used to, this is languid and deliberate. He lets his fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of her neck. Her lips are soft and warm against his, and he revels in the feeling of her. When they part for air he noticed her cheeks are flushed. He can feel heat rising to his cheeks as well. They rest their foreheads against each other, not wanting to lose contact. She smiles, pressing another chaste kiss to his lips.  She caresses his face. “Maybe we save the kisses for once we’re a little more private, what do you think darling?” </p><p>It’s his turn to kiss her now, the kiss equally soft and quiet. “Probably a good idea, tonight then.” </p><p>“Tonight.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the 'tonight' ;)</p><p>contains some sexy but not smutty content</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They eventually get let out. Senokir paid to collect them, a sum that Vex quickly paid back to him. Their chains are reattached and tightened. Vex meets his eye with a concerned look, and he does his best to feign composure. Truthfully, he knows she sees right through it to his fidgeting fingers and shallow breathing. The tightened manacles rub uncomfortably on the scars that encircle his wrists. </p><p>Senokir is fairly gentle, as gentle as he can be without arousing much suspicion. Vex’s eyes rarely leave Percy, keeping a close watch for any drastic change in disposition. He surveys himself, his heart is still pounding from the conversation, lips still tingling with the feeling of Vex, but he’s thrilled to be out of the confinement of the cell. He keeps his head down, partially to avoid being ogled by various slave traders looking for something to turn a profit with, and partially to hide the flush that creeps across his cheeks as he replays their kiss in his head. </p><p>As soon as they enter the mansion, Vex is on the warpath. Percy follows quickly behind, gratefully rubbing his wrists, which are delightfully free of the shackles. As per usual, the smell of chicken wafts through the entryway and into the kitchen. His stomach growls and he realizes he hasn’t eaten since breakfast many hours ago. </p><p>Vex bursts in through the kitchen door, much to the surprise of the party, and almost immediately has her brother pinned against a wall. Fire blazes in her eyes.</p><p>“You complete ass, Vax’ildan. What idiocy was possibly worth Percy and I being locked away in a prison for slaves in the fire plane for the day?” </p><p>Scanlan laughs behind a hand, which earns him a death glare. One that not only shuts him up, but makes him start scanning for available exits. The main exit is currently being blocked by Percy who gives the gnome a glare of his own, daring him to try to escape. Their staring match lasts for only a couple of seconds until Scanlan looks down in his lap sheepishly and Percy is able to sink into the chair next to Keyleth. </p><p>It wasn’t until being able to sit down in the cool air of the mansion does he realize how tired he is. He still hasn’t fully recovered from the whole ‘being dead’ thing, and the heat and sore muscles only add to the exhaustion. Pike moves a plate piled high with roast chicken and potatoes in front of him. He murmurs something that he hopes Pike knows is thankful. The twins are still bickering in the background, but he tunes out the sound and focuses on the meal. He eats slowly, the warm food somehow both energizing him and making him ready to fall into bed and sleep. </p><p>Eventually, Vex gets tired of tormenting her twin and Vax gets tired of being tormented and apologizes. </p><p>“Seriously though Stubby, how was it, were you both okay?” Vax asks, while placing a plate just as full as Percy’s in front of his sister, who sticks her tongue out at him before digging in. Vex looks to Percy to answer her brother’s question, her mouth full. He sighs, choosing his words carefully. </p><p>“Truthfully, it was fine. They made some jokes at our expense while they were locking us up, but when we mentioned Senokir’s name they left us alone until he picked us up. It was hot and not pleasant by any means but as far as jails go not nearly the worst.” He purposefully doesn’t mention his panicked episode in the cell. Vox Machina is his family, but some things still feel too personal. Which on one hand doesn’t make much sense, they already watched Ripley kill him, but on the otehr the specifics her torture still feels private. Plus, he doesn’t want Keyleth to worry any more than she already is. Vex glances at him, checking once again to make sure he’s okay. It’s just enough time for him to mouth ‘my room, tonight’ to her. She quickly nods, something so small he’s sure no one else even notices. </p><p>“That doesn’t mean that you fuckheads,” Vex motions to Vax and Scanlan, “won’t get what’s coming to you. Watch your backs.” To articulate her point, she stabs her knife into one of the cuts of meat on the plate, which is enough to send the message. “Now, what did the rest of you get up to today while Percy and I were in jail?” </p><p>The dinner conversation continues, and to be honest he only hears bits and pieces of it. Once he’d eaten his fill, he let his head rest on Keyleth's shoulder. He’s so tired. They haven’t really stopped since the attack on Emon, and his body hurts. He’s not going to say anything, of course, and he’s sure that everyone is also feeling the pain and pressures of their mission. But the ever-present bruise on his shoulder, where Bad News kicks back when he shoots, aches a little more every day. </p><p>As soon as the conversation lulls, he politely excuses himself. He considers the baths, but the energy required to walk multiple flights of stairs feels like just too much. Besides, the wash basin in his room would be enough until the morning.  Right now, he needs to be in bed. While he tended to prefer the beds in Whitestone, after sitting on the floor of a cell all day even these beds were heavenly. </p><p>He makes quick work of his clothes, ditching the sweat covered clothes of the day for clean pajamas, after a quick wash with a clean cloth and the basin of water in the room. He did his best to not get distracted by the view of himself in the mirror. It was his other main complaint about the mansion- the large abundance of mirrors. Unlike Scanlan, he was not particularly fond of his appearance. Sometimes he remembered to ask the servants to remove or cover all the mirrors in his room, but the day had been so long he’d forgotten. Percy caught a view of himself out of the corner of his eye and gave in to the horrid fascination with his own appearance. Absentmindedly, he ran a hand over the new scars on his stomach; small, round marks where Ripley's bullets had entered him. Upon more general inspection, he looked like Julius, apart from the hair and the dark circles under his eyes, which made him look more like his father. A pang of sadness pierced through him. He was now older than Julius was when he died. Julius, who had been arranged to be married only a month after the takeover and who should’ve been running Whitestone with a family of his own by now. Julius who felt no better calling than being the best Lord of Whitestone he could, even despite his occasional headassery. </p><p>Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. No. There wasn’t time for this tonight. There was time for grief when the dragons were gone. He pushed the thoughts of his big brother down, back into the box they’d been stuck in for years.</p><p>A soft knock on his door jolts him out of his thoughts. He opens it to Vex, also changed and wrapped in a robe. The robe rests on her upper thigh and leaves little to the imagination. His mind, which is usually running a mile a minute, stops and all that exists is her. </p><p>“Fancy seeing you here.” He smirks. </p><p>“Excuse me sir, but I was under the impression I was invited.” She winks at him and his heart skips a beat. He can feel himself blushing, but before it can hide it, she’s noticed. She laughs, not out of malice, but it’s a light and airy laugh that fills his chest and chases a little bit of the remaining shadow out. She walks over and cups his face in her hands, her fingers are cool against his warm cheeks. He closes his eyes and enjoys the simple pleasure of her hands on him.</p><p>“Of course you were invited.” Percy is surprised at his own voice, near reverent in its tone, low and quiet. “You’re always invited.” He leans forward, softly kissing her hairline, hands settling comfortably on her waist. </p><p>“Darling…”</p><p>“Vex’ahlia dear, can I kiss you?” She looks slightly shocked. </p><p>“If you don’t I might get a little upset.” In one swift move, he wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her. She reacts quickly, throwing her arms around his neck and opening her mouth against his. This kiss has more heat than their one in the cell, and Percy’s brain is misfiring. Vex’s hands don’t linger in one place for too long, and her fingers tangle in his hair and track lines of muscle in his shoulders. He brings one hand up to her cheek, gently moving her face to a better angle. </p><p>She is a sight to behold when the part. Her eyes are fiery, but the fury of earlier has been replaced with passion and lust. Her hair is beginning to fall out of its braid and her cheeks are flushed prettily. </p><p>“Don’t you hold out on me Percy.” </p><p>Without thinking, he picks her up, letting her legs wrap around his waist, and presses her back against a wall. He’s never done anything like this before, but the moan that creeps out of Vex’s throat tells him all he needs to know. “I have no intention of holding out on you.” His voice lowers as he murmurs into her neck. He kisses her neck, right under her jaw. Vex inhales sharply, it’s a sound that makes the majority of the blood in his body rush south. One of her hands tangles itself in his hair, her grip is strong and it hurts a little bit, but not in a bad way. </p><p>“Percival!” Vex’s voice is almost dripping with pleasure. He runs his hands under her robe, happy to find nothing but her breast band. Her skin is warm and soft, and he is hyper-aware of the numerous calluses that cover his hands. </p><p>The sensations, the feeling of her against him are almost too strong. After his attacks he’s always a bit more sensitive to touch. At first, it's nice, the heightened feeling of her lips on his cause fireworks in his brain. Her fingers are small tongues of flame that dance across his skin, threatening to burn, but at the same time chasing out the chill of death that still lingers in his bones. </p><p>It’s when she drags him by the ascot over to the bed that everything starts to be...too much. But she’s on top of him, and she’s kissing him, and he loves her. He wants to be underneath her, to feel her skin on his, and let her fuck him any way she wants. Vex kisses his neck, biting slightly, and a chill races down his spine.</p><p> He doesn’t notice the signs, instead equating the increased heart rate and rapid breathing as signs of his arousal. It isn’t until she palms his cock, even though his trousers, that it snaps. Before he can conceal it, he throws his head back and winces in pain. It’s too much, it's overwhelming, and the last time he felt something this strongly it was the worst pain he’d ever been in. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, and he fears his head will start to spin soon. </p><p> He has felt immense hate for Anna Ripley a lot in his life, but he struggles to think of a time he’s felt it more directly than right now. Ripley has ruined him. Tears prick at his eyes, his throat tightens, and he fights the urge to snap.</p><p>“Percy?” Vex had quickly withdrawn her hand, looks, confused and concerned, down at him. He brings his hands to his face, partially to hide the tears forming in his eyes that he doesn’t want her to see. He wants this, wants her, with his whole heart, but once again his body and his memories betray him. They’ve just proven how broken he is. How can he ever be worthy of love if any affection sends him spiraling?</p><p>“I’m sorry...I’m so so sorry.” His voice is breathy and near whimpering. He hates it.</p><p>“Darling, please...what happened?” She’s pleading again, and his heart aches from it. He removes his hands and sees her eyes also beginning to rim with tears. Quickly he sits up, taking her face in his hands, ignoring how they tremble slightly. </p><p>“Vex, oh no, please, don’t cry. It’s not you, darling, it’s not your fault.” Gently he rests his forehead on hers. </p><p>“Do you not want...?”</p><p>“Of course I want you, fuck Vex, I want you more than anything.” He signs a shaky breath that doesn’t quite fill his lungs. “I just don’t think it can happen tonight. I...after episodes like today's things are always a bit more sensitive, especially to touch. It was just a lot of sensation all at once and my brain didn’t know how to compute it.” She nods slowly. “I want you. I want to pin you back against that wall and do so many unspeakably naughty things with you. Pelor, the things I want to do with you…” She blushes and almost laughs. “But, just not today, not tonight.” He struggles to look her in the eye, letting his gaze drop to where her fingers are playing with the edge of the blanket. “I am so sorry. And you deserve more than a broken-”</p><p>“Percy, please don’t call yourself broken. Please. You’re a man who’s survived a lot, yes. But not one that hasn’t been putting the pieces back together again.” She cups his cheek and tilts his face up to hers. “You are worthy of love, Percy. Let me love you.” He kisses her again, it's soft and neither pushes it. They kiss like young lovers. Right now, there are no dragons or pit fiends, just the two of them, alone in this plane. She’s hesitant to touch him again. Instead of her hands roaming around his body, one hand stays steady on his cheek. He leans into her touch. </p><p>“I love you.” Percy whispers against her lips. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” She laughs, a light giggly laugh that he would have never expected to come from Vex. </p><p>“You, lovely, ridiculous man…” She pauses, clearly thinking. “Percy, did you think I would be mad we couldn’t have sex tonight?” Confused, he nods. Surely she must have been, they were going to, they wanted to, and he had to stop it. “Darling…”</p><p>“I totally understand if you are…”</p><p>“Percival I will never be mad at you for not pushing yourself to do something that causes you pain. Even if it’s something we want...I’ve seen you hurt yourself that way too many times out there” She gestures towards the door. “Don’t do that in here. I...I don’t want you to put yourself in pain for me. I couldn’t bear it.”</p><p>His heart stops. </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>“Vex...I…”</p><p>“I know, darling, I know.” She gently runs a hand through his hair. “Do you want me to stay tonight?”</p><p>“Please?” </p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>She curls into his side, and he realizes how right it feels to have her there. His arm fits so naturally around her, and for the first time in a long time he feels at peace.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just love them, I do </p><p>I know this probably isn't what people were expecting, but it's a situation I wanted to explore a bit, especially given both Vex and Percy's canon backstories</p><p>as always kudos and comments are appreciated</p><p>(i have a twitter just for CR &amp; dnd, give me a follow @trinketderolo )</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Look, as much as I love Percy- which is a lot- that boy needs therapy.<br/>August 2020 is not a good time to be living in Iowa folks. I wrote this to distract from the apocalypse that has been happening this week. That being said- I used some of the limited data and charge on my phone to preorder the Percy and Vex funko Pop figures...it's called self care </p><p>Comments/Kudos are always appreciated, but especially this week</p></blockquote></div></div>
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